I’ve never been one to date around or date more than one guy at the same time. The idea has always made me feel a little uncomfortable like it’s a moral issue and dating more than one guy somehow makes me a bad person.
But I’ve been re-thinking this notion a bit lately, because, why not multi-task with dating as with everything else in life? I’ve also been inspired by my friend from my last post who is happily dating a couple of guys at once and I certainly don’t think poorly of her. In fact she’s a great person and I say good for her!
The question in the paper came from a young woman who’s been dating two guys but she doesn’t like playing the field; she’d prefer to settle down. She explained that one of the guys is kind and responsible but “kind of boring” while the other is fun and exciting but “kind of irresponsible”. The advice columnist told her exactly what I was thinking: She shouldn’t give up looking just because she’s getting tired of dating. She said she’ll know when she’s found the right person or when she’s found love because she won’t have to describe them as “kind of boring”. Maybe she needs to keep looking and dating around.
The question in the paper came from a young woman who’s been dating two guys but she doesn’t like playing the field; she’d prefer to settle down. She explained that one of the guys is kind and responsible but “kind of boring” while the other is fun and exciting but “kind of irresponsible”. The advice columnist told her exactly what I was thinking: She shouldn’t give up looking just because she’s getting tired of dating. She said she’ll know when she’s found the right person or when she’s found love because she won’t have to describe them as “kind of boring”. Maybe she needs to keep looking and dating around.
So why shouldn’t I date more than one person? In fact, that’s probably what I’ve been doing wrong all along. I can think of a few times when I’ve gotten into a relationship, fast and furiously, maybe more based on physical attraction, only to discover six months or a year in that the person is missing some key qualities that are important to me.
On the other hand, I’m reading a book right now that makes the case for “settling for Mr. Good Enough”. The author, a 40-something woman who passed up many great but “kind of boring” guys in her 20s and 30s, now finds herself single and longing for a husband in her 40s. She wishes she could turn back time and give some of those kind-of-boring guys a chance.
On the other hand, I’m reading a book right now that makes the case for “settling for Mr. Good Enough”. The author, a 40-something woman who passed up many great but “kind of boring” guys in her 20s and 30s, now finds herself single and longing for a husband in her 40s. She wishes she could turn back time and give some of those kind-of-boring guys a chance.
How depressing. I say keep reaching for the stars, get to know lots of different people and keep your expectations realistic at least. Anyway, kind-of-boring can be kind-of-nice sometimes, at least it's better than kind-of-mean.
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