My List

Here's a list of some of the things I've come up with that might make my life as a singleton a little less dreary and a little more happy!


1. Exercise more- I already exercise a couple of times a week, running usually, but would like to make that more of a 3-4 times a week routine, thus giving me more energy and making me feel better about myself overall.
2. Get addicted to yoga- I've already started that plan. Yoga used to seem like a mystical, trendy nuissance before I started. But now I've gone at least once a week over the past four weeks and I'm starting to see the benefits. It makes me feel strong, relaxed and generally, happier.
3. Learn to meditate- I've started a nine-week long course called Mindfulness Based Stressed Reduction where we learn how to focus our thoughts on the present, pushing out concerns or worries about the past and the future. One of my main obstacles to happiness is that I dwell in the past too much, not able to let go, and I worry about the future constantly. It's been difficult so far, but I'm hoping that I will eventually start to feel and see the results of practising being more present in the moment and not dwelling as much on the past and the future.
4. Change lightbulbs- I know this seems trivial, but I just sat in a darkened apartment for the past two days because I couldn't be bothered to change a couple of bulbs that had burned out. I changed them a few minutes ago and already life feels brighter!
5. Always wear good socks- Also may seem trivial, but having holes in your socks can really ruin your day. So decent, comfortable socks without holes is a must.
6. Always wear good underwear- Similar to the socks theory, good underwear is a must. Have you ever spent the day in underwear that is too small, too big or just plain uncomfortable? It certainly does nothing to boost happiness!
7. Figure out what I like to do and do it.....don't just think about it!- For me, one of the things I most like to do is write. I used to write a lot, and over the past several months I've let that go and kept just thinking about writing. That's one of my reasons for starting this blog. It's simple, it's immediate and gives me incentive to write again.
8. Always stay in contact with good friends.
9. Make a proper dinner and don't just eat half a box of cereal before bed.
10. Walk, as much as possible, even when it's cold out- Walking always makes me feel good. I don't know why, but it just does, so there.
11. Drink more water.
12. Read more books and finish them!- I have a terrible habit of leaving books unread, and for some reason it just weighs on me that I never finished them. Usually it doesn't even have anything to do with whether I like the book or not, I just get lazy sometimes. I don't know why.
13. Read the news every day- This gives you something to talk about when there are lulls in conversation.
14. Take care of my skin- I have a tendency not to do that but in all honesty, when my skin looks better, I feel better.
15. Get my finances in order- I guess that's an obvious one, but one that tends to elude me regularly.
16. Dress well.
17. Organize my closets and drawers.
18. Wear heels more often- That also makes me feel good, for whatever reason.......
19. Keep dreaming and don't give up.
20. Always make my home a cozy, comfortable place to be, this includes cleanliness.
21. Try one new recipe a week- I did that for a while last fall, but then got lazy, so I'll have to get back to it.
22. Spend time with people I like.
23. Listen to music more often.
24. Work hard at my job.
25.  Take care of my health.


One of the things I've concluded recently, is that it's more the little things in life than the big things that can lead to overall happiness. So although 'wear good socks' seems like a silly goal, I believe it's things like this that can really improve our day-to-day sense of well-being and contentment.

The Singleness Project

This is a story about being single and why maybe it’s not the worst thing that could happen to a person.

I could just be trying to convince myself of that, or maybe it’s actually true, but my plan is to find out.

It begins with a 35-year-old girl (I still for some reason have trouble thinking of myself as a woman!)

I’ve had three serious relationships in my life, the most recent ending about 5 months ago.  It was a difficult break-up, as break-ups often are. I always thought they’d get easier with experience, but really they don’t. And maybe the difficulty stemmed from the fact that I held on so tightly, for two years, to the possibility that this might finally be the elusive ‘One’ that everyone is always talking about.  I bent over backwards trying to make it work even though there were a number of issues with the relationship, right from the start, that made the probability of him being my lifelong partner pretty slim. 

I gave up eventually and packed it in; it was simply a matter of self-preservation.

So now, after a few months of sadness and wallowing in self-pity, I’ve decided to pick myself up and see if I can be happy or at least content and enjoy life again. All by myself.

Of couse I would like to be in a relationship again and really find my true life partner, but I’ve decided I will put that on the backburner, at least for the time being.

I would like to have a family some day and my ovaries certainly aren’t getting any younger, but the thing is………I feel like I’ve spent my entire life looking for that special person and trying not to be single.

Maybe it’s something to do with being female, but while guys hang out with their buddies, and further their careers, and cheer for their favourite teams, waiting for the ‘one’ to come along, it seems that us girls are always desperately looking for the ‘one’ and worrying about when he will arrive and where he is and what’s wrong with us that we haven’t found him yet.

Frankly, it’s exhausting.

So I've decided to try focusing more of my attention on just being instead of always thinking I can’t be happy until I meet that special person or get married or have a family.

There are a lot of things in my life that I have to be happy about and thankful for right at this moment:

I have a good career which pays well, provides stability and a sense of fulfillment and purpose. Not that I don’t have my bad days, but overall, it’s pretty good.

I have a lot of excellent, longtime friends. Some of them are married and have families, some are not. But there always seems to be someone to hang out with or talk to.

I have a nice, comfortable place to live, which I saved for and bought myself (with some parental assistance!)

I have a family that loves me and is always there for me.

I have good hair, nice teeth and no weight problems or eating disorders.

I’m smart, kind, have a good sense of humour and people generally like me.

So what's not to be happy about? Is the only thing holding me back from true happiness the fact that I'm not the better half of a couple? Probably not. I know a lot of people in relationships who don't seem all that happy to me.

So begins my singleness project.

Not that I intend to fend off Mr. Right if he happens to come galloping my way but I’m going to try, for the first time in my life, not to make being part of a pair my number one concern.