I’ve become more discriminating in my dating choices.
In the past I’ve made the mistake of dating or being in a relationship with someone just because they like me. Or even more so: he’s cute and he likes me?!! I’ve wanted a boyfriend, or wanted something to just work out, so I’ve stuck with it even when it’s not the best match.
I don’t know what’s changed, maybe it’s the (somewhat) perkier weather or just that I’m tired of making all the wrong choices, but lately I’ve allowed myself to be picky and truly make the effort to find someone who’s right for me.
Last week for example, I went on an online date. In his profile and pictures he seemed attractive, successful, intelligent, athletic and so on. But like I’ve mentioned before, everything on paper goes out the window when you actually meet.
With this guy, I’d had a couple of indications that he may be a certain type that I’m not all that interested in – I won’t get into details – but when we met, my concerns were verified. Still, he was attractive, athletic, intelligent and successful, but I felt right away he just wasn’t for me.
Oftentimes I’ve waited for the guy’s decision on whether or not things would move forward, but this time would be different.
We ended the meeting with a quick hug, neither of us offering a: “Give me a call” or “Let’s go out again sometime.” It just ended.
After some thought and a glass or two of wine later that evening, I emailed him to say ‘it was nice meeting you, I don’t think there was a romantic connection, but you seemed like a really great person and good luck in your search’. He responded with a curt: “Nice meeting you too. You seemed nice. Take care.”
I was left wondering whether he’d felt the same way as I’d suspected, or if he’d been interested but was hurt by my rejection. However I forced myself to instead of wondering how he felt, decide on my own how I felt. Something I haven’t given myself a chance to do in the past.
Some people might say the reason I’m still single is because I’m too picky. I would have to disagree though and say that the reason I’m still single is I haven’t been picky enough.
I’ve spent weeks, months, even years in relationships that weren’t really going anywhere from the beginning; denying myself the chance to meet someone who actually could be ‘the one’, or one of ‘the ones’ at least!
At the end of my last relationship, when I was clouded by sorrow and disappointment, good friends pointed out the age-old sentiment that it’s better to be happy on your own than unhappy with the wrong person. At the time I didn’t believe it. I didn’t want to be single again; it seemed a fate worse than death.
Now that I’ve dug myself out of the depths of despair and am content living life again, all on my own, I believe the sentiment to be true.
Why settle for something that isn’t great?
