Beyonce

Beyonce
All the Single Ladies......All the Single Men!

Thursday, February 3, 2011

There's nothing wrong with me........or you

Researching for my blog, I spent some time at Indigo the other day looking for books on the topic of being single.
After half-an-hour I wanted to cry and run out of the store.
Naively, I thought that in this day and age there might be a section with titles like “Single and Loving it!” or “Happy on my own”- something of this nature.
Sadly, there were not.
 I may have missed them and not researched quite thoroughly enough but there certainly wasn’t a section like this, let alone even one title that I could find.
In amongst the self-help and relationship books sat titles like “Lonely”, “Shattered” and “How to find the Love you want”.  They focused on helping someone through the painful end of a relationship so that they could dust themselves off and get into new one. The others contained chapters full of ‘rules’ that women should follow to get a man, any man, to commit.
For example, here’s a good one that all of us singles know and love: Play hard to get.
“A man is intrigued by a woman who is not always ‘available’; it will make him want you more if you are a little mysterious. Try giving some affection and attention, and then taking it away! He will come chasing after you because you’ve given him a taste of what he wants and this makes him want more.”
This is why I’m single. I don’t know how to be coy and play these bulls—t games.  I’ve never had a friend who became my friend because I called them once and then ignored the rest of their calls for a week, only to text them soon after to say, “What up?”.
Here’s another one:
According to Yahoo! this morning, a surprising trait that men find attractive is insecurity.
Evidently, women who are more insecure are more desirable and better at dating.
The authors of whatever study from whateverville U.S.A, found that women who are insecure try harder to be interesting whereas confident women come off as arrogant.
But  thankfully, Cosmopolitan’s savvy editors disagree: “Uh, are we the only ones who think it's way better to actually be interesting rather than to just ‘appear interesting’?” they posted in response.
One of the comments from a reader of my last post was about how she was so tired of feeling like “something is wrong with her” because she’s still single.
It’s true, it’s difficult being a “one” in a world that caters to “twos”.  You tend to feel like a bit of a leper.
Why are we taught that being single is bad?
Is it such a terrible thing to be single that we should consider trading in our personalities or changing our behaviour, simply to become part of a couple?

I've tried that and I don't think it's worth it.
So for the time being, I remain, singlefully yours!





1 comment:

  1. dear singlefully yours,

    i really liked your blog. girls...guys...i don't want to get into a who's #1 who's #2 debate when it comes to questioning the wonderful world of loneliness. but it has led me to to ponder...

    do you think girls like guys with highlights? have you ever heard of hair floss? do you question the traditional volleyball 'bump'? do you like questions?

    that's all i really wanted to say. except..i don't think singlefully is a real word. let me google it and get back to ya.

    singlecerly yours,

    jung at heart

    ReplyDelete